I finally
broke down. I purchased a couple of new
items for my summer capsule. BUT, it was
a deliberate breakdown. Let me tell you
what happened. There were two items in
my capsule that I just wasn’t feeling no matter how hard I tried: my striped
sun dress and my light colored (maternity) shorts. So I replaced them.
Here’s the thing,
I have really struggled with body image since giving birth to Kit. It has been hard for me to feel good in
anything I put on. My body has changed so much that it feels…foreign. I’ve
always been pretty in tune with my body.
We used the Fertility Awareness Method of birth control for five years successfully
and so I’m not kidding when I say that I knew what was going on at all times.
Now my hormones aren’t predictable, I bloat in places I never used to, I have
gobs of cellulite, etc. I know that my body went through an incredible thing
and I’m not writing this for sympathy or to complain. Sometimes it just helps to verbalize
something. You know?
All that to
say, the shorts and the dress were making me feel especially self conscious. The shorts were just too short and they
really emphasized my muffin top and the dress was just too tight and
short. What I don’t want is for my
capsule to turn into a punishment device and so I decided to break my own rules
and get two items that I feel so much more confident in. And you know what? I’m not sorry I did. Here’s the difference from what I would have
done before though: I deliberated, talked to David, and stayed well within our
budget. It felt good! What about you? Have you ever broken your own rules because
something just wasn’t working? Do any
other post partum mom’s struggle with this? Please tell me I’m not alone!
Until next
time,
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